she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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