we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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