Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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