i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
