I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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