To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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