So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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