If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
