the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize