yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
