Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
