East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fuck appropriateness.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
