My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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