Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
