I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
