I'm so fucking centered right now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry my hands just texted you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
