he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
