That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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