i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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