Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
