Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
