Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
