is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
