I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
