Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
zippers are such a cool invention
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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