a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize