you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
