I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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