We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
