he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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