My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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