I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
