Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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