the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
