So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
