using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
