I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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