It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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