Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
