He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
