I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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