Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
