Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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