So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
