She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
