On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
