If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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