Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
