i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize