Is it normal to miss your booty call?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
