so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize