I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
