wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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