You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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