I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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