PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Still dying that you shit outside
did i just pee glitter
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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