Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
