It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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