only if we run a train.
done.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
