better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My pussy is not your playground.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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