Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
