Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
