Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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