"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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