we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
