I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
did i walk over a car last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
