We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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